Reformed

I am no longer a criminal. After spending yesterday (six long hours) in traffic school, I emerged a free man, my debt to society paid. My crime? Doing 55 MPH in a 40 MPH zone. There were others there that were bigger scofflaws than I: 86 in a 65 comes to mind, as does the unfortunate that was cited for doing 10 in a 55.

My downfall was a mobile radar unit. The town of Paradise Valley in Arizona is home to a whole bunch of rich people (no, I don't live there - not by a long shot), and more traffic-related money-making devices than you can shake a stick at. Mobile radar units, red light cameras, they've got 'em all. I received a picture of me in my car, a picture of my license plate, and a citation. I was thinking of sending them a picture of my money, but decided against it. So traffic school it was.

After six hours of getting reacquanted with the DMV's rule book (with particular emphasis paid to drunk driving, despite the fact nobody was there for DUI) and trying to keep our eyes open, nearly fifty of us left lighter in the wallet, but with little yellow cards signifying that we made it through school. If you see me on the road, fear not: you're safe from my former criminal behavior.